Posted by Rebekah A. Williams on May 07, 2001 at 22:51:34 from 24.49.108.19 :
What a beautifully brilliant and vibrantly glowing man ED was! ed, i pay tribute to you in my self and evolution. my teacher, i wanted so much to study you, as that was my way when we first met. but you have always been the ultimate student, studying people and their progression, studying always studying...yourself, yourSelf, society, community, love and Love, Spirit, this life, this LIFE which you lived so graciously and fully. that is where i will try most consciously and deliberately to follow in your footsteps... i want so much to be as open as you were, up until the last moment excepting and analyzing everything the universe has to offer. ed, there is so much to learn from you. there is so much that i can learn from you. Because i have so unconsciously shaped my life path as similar to yours, the search and activism for truth. here i am working, working, and working for the cause, this important cause and that important one as well. when do i stop and breath, smile, laugh and love my family and friends. these last years it has been you that i have felt most guilty with, not making the time (that i now recognize as so important) to really talk and show you my love and respect for you by listening patiently for what you had to offer. i am getting to know you so much more now, more than what i ever felt i had time for before. trying to have no regrets, but still kicking myself for missing out on at least one timeless jam session around the kitchen table. first entering jewett parkway, as a thirteen-year-old. I wanted so badly to be angry with you for ruining or women's family (just mom and the three girls). but instead found myself in awe with you and the way you chose to live your life. your home was open to everyone, you never locked the door! there were strange people living in every room of the house and you treated them all with such respect. here i was, this thirteen-year-old girl, all googly about boys, uncomfortable with and confused about myself, priding myself in being like wallpaper - easily blending in with the background, to better observe my family and the unfolding of the world. i didn't know that anyone cared about what i had to say. the most common words i can remember my family saying to me in response to my comments were "there goes Bekah again." i didn't think i had it in me to say anything that could capture your attention. but ed, you gave me so much time and respect i am so blessed to have had your influence in my life. now i consider myself a leader and activist someone who believes in her ideas and recognizes that they are important to the community. i love you so much ed. you were an awesome father even though i already have an awesome father. you made room for yourself in my family and in my love with your kind and gentle ways. we always stuck up for each other and i'll miss having a buddy to share knowing looks with at the table. i didn't want to write this, because i felt like i was going to be saying goodbye in doing so. and i suppose that saying goodbye may be so hard for me because i didn't want to accept that you were dead. seeing such a GRAND LIGHT SHINE and then BLINK OUT is so hard to understand and i didn't want to remember the afterwards. So here is my future with you ed, in me and in everyone who you have touched in this world and there are so many who you have touched. i will keep your legacy alive, your legacy is in my life, in my son Bhakti's life, and in the world and all it's people. I love You, ED. My prayers for your everlasting peace.